Finding Balance
If I had a penny for the number of times I thought about taking a moment to focus on my self-care and then found myself taking care of someone or something else instead, I’d be a billionaire! I’m wagering a guess that many of you have been in this exact same predicament: there never seems to be enough time for me and everything else. There is some truth in this statement. You can not do ALL the things and have time for you. It is possible to take care of you and get MOST of the things done.
We are definitely talking about a perspective shift when talking about balance. Many people prioritize others before self. They may also belief that focusing on self-care is selfish. And no one wants to be seen as selfish. When you put these ideas together the result is spent, stressed and overcommitted individuals. Here’s where the perspective shift comes in: taking time for self-care actually makes every other responsibility and commitment easier to manage. Honestly, when you take care of yourself, you have more to give to everyone and everything.
Here’s a way to visualize this concept. Think of your well-being like a checking account. When it has funds available you can make withdrawals without penalty. When it is low on funds or has no funds, you incur charges from the bank for non-sufficient funds (FYI: There are no overdraft protections on well-being checking accounts). Everything you do for others (work, family, friends, etc) is a withdrawal. Self-care activities are deposits. Sometimes you can find an activity that hits both (e.g., volunteering in your child’s classroom or coaching your child’s sports team) but it is not an even exchange and the activity will fall more on one side of the equation than the other. This is where balance and budgeting come into play. You need to make more sure you are depositing more than enough self-care activities to cover the debits related to everyday life.
If you have ever set up a budget you know how hard it can be to figure out where all the money goes. The same is true when you start to look at your well-being checking account. Thinking about your family and social commitments, everyday responsibilities, work obligations, and other tasks on the to-do list you are looking at your daily, weekly and/or monthly debits. Now take note of the daily, weekly, or monthly deposits you are making. Are there enough to be sure you stay out of the red? Bank charges for non-sufficient funds on your well-being checking account can take the form of irritability, exhaustion, resentment, eating, or apathy. If you notice these issues you may need to be making more self-care deposits into your account.
Some ideas for quick ways to make deposits into your well-being checking account to help balance out your ledger:
Watching your favorite tv show or movie
Taking an extra 5 minutes in the shower to let the hot water relax you
Going for a walk, alone!
Gardening
Reading
Listening to your favorite song or musical artist
Playing a game
Doing a puzzle
Coloring